Dear Eden Florence Guill,
You have grown a lot through your final year, the one you have worked and planned for your entire life, your senior year. Throughout all this growing, you have also become more developed in your writing. You have learned how to organize essays fluently and with ease. You find strength in carrying out the purpose of your writing; everything is meaningful and has a passion driving it forward. An area you will always and forever be able to improve upon is grammatical and mechanical conventions.
The natural ability to have purpose in writing is spectacular. Purpose is your reason for doing a task. Many students, especially high schoolers, lack the ambition to write for more than a good grade or because it was assigned. Through your writing it is clear you write for yourself. You write in order to express your beliefs, values, hopes and dreams, and purpose like that is evident and shines through the page of what some might feel is just a "school essay". This is clear even through your process analysis essay, Self-Peace. "In order to maintain self-peace though, a person must continue this procedure; incorporating it into their daily life". Here you described how to come close to abstaining some peace in a world of chaos and doubt. You could have chosen any topic, even how to bake cookies, but you choose to explain to how self comfort and soothe anxiety, and that is pretty incredible that you care that much. This can also be witnessed in the piece Blindly Consuming for the same reasoning. You have chosen a topic that is meaningful to you and that is extremely important fora piece of writing to achieve it's full potential. Phrase make it clear how passionate you are through descriptive language such as "Advertisement is an art form based on mischievous falsehood to blindly guide the consumer into handing their honestly hard earned profit into the hands of the corrupt corporate industry, who under pays sweatshop workers from foreign, third world nations, and hoards the profits for selfish benefits".
Your classification essay in which you chose the topic of individuals at The Gym. This piece really emphasizes the gaining ability of organization. You were able to breakdown the idea that many people have different motives in paying to use gym facilities, then generalize individuals and force them into categories and "If action denotes character, then fitness habits denote the type of gym member an individual classifies as". Similar techniques are apparent in your research essay, Sweatshops, because you had the ability to not only thorough discuss the topic and support your views with research evidence, but you were also able to compose it in an order of cause and effect, like when you statedit "frustrated society that these detestations were occurring. In response, the American government was able to intervene and produce child labor laws, building regulations, worker policies, and government agencies". This greatly shows the cause and effect organization carried through out. The ability to organize your writing and allow the audience to be guided seamlessly through your work is incredible and an excellent strength that you are so blessed to have learned in this course.
In the rough drafts of every single one of your pieces, and even some final drafts, you have possessed a grant amount of grammatical errors. Grammar has always been a challenge for you and you have improved subtly, as seen through your transformation in your piece Feminism vs. Meninism. The improvement between the two is incredible, therefore it is possible for you to improve on this skill in the future. You could make less careless errors if you set aside time to re-read your papers and adjust careless mistakes. I wish you the best of luck on improving this skill and continuing to use your natural and developed talented in writing.
Sincerely,
Eden
You have grown a lot through your final year, the one you have worked and planned for your entire life, your senior year. Throughout all this growing, you have also become more developed in your writing. You have learned how to organize essays fluently and with ease. You find strength in carrying out the purpose of your writing; everything is meaningful and has a passion driving it forward. An area you will always and forever be able to improve upon is grammatical and mechanical conventions.
The natural ability to have purpose in writing is spectacular. Purpose is your reason for doing a task. Many students, especially high schoolers, lack the ambition to write for more than a good grade or because it was assigned. Through your writing it is clear you write for yourself. You write in order to express your beliefs, values, hopes and dreams, and purpose like that is evident and shines through the page of what some might feel is just a "school essay". This is clear even through your process analysis essay, Self-Peace. "In order to maintain self-peace though, a person must continue this procedure; incorporating it into their daily life". Here you described how to come close to abstaining some peace in a world of chaos and doubt. You could have chosen any topic, even how to bake cookies, but you choose to explain to how self comfort and soothe anxiety, and that is pretty incredible that you care that much. This can also be witnessed in the piece Blindly Consuming for the same reasoning. You have chosen a topic that is meaningful to you and that is extremely important fora piece of writing to achieve it's full potential. Phrase make it clear how passionate you are through descriptive language such as "Advertisement is an art form based on mischievous falsehood to blindly guide the consumer into handing their honestly hard earned profit into the hands of the corrupt corporate industry, who under pays sweatshop workers from foreign, third world nations, and hoards the profits for selfish benefits".
Your classification essay in which you chose the topic of individuals at The Gym. This piece really emphasizes the gaining ability of organization. You were able to breakdown the idea that many people have different motives in paying to use gym facilities, then generalize individuals and force them into categories and "If action denotes character, then fitness habits denote the type of gym member an individual classifies as". Similar techniques are apparent in your research essay, Sweatshops, because you had the ability to not only thorough discuss the topic and support your views with research evidence, but you were also able to compose it in an order of cause and effect, like when you statedit "frustrated society that these detestations were occurring. In response, the American government was able to intervene and produce child labor laws, building regulations, worker policies, and government agencies". This greatly shows the cause and effect organization carried through out. The ability to organize your writing and allow the audience to be guided seamlessly through your work is incredible and an excellent strength that you are so blessed to have learned in this course.
In the rough drafts of every single one of your pieces, and even some final drafts, you have possessed a grant amount of grammatical errors. Grammar has always been a challenge for you and you have improved subtly, as seen through your transformation in your piece Feminism vs. Meninism. The improvement between the two is incredible, therefore it is possible for you to improve on this skill in the future. You could make less careless errors if you set aside time to re-read your papers and adjust careless mistakes. I wish you the best of luck on improving this skill and continuing to use your natural and developed talented in writing.
Sincerely,
Eden